After writing here on and off for a few years, I forget what I write about at times. I’m sure I could go back through blog posts and see if I have written on this before, but, honestly, I’m in a different place in my life. Everything is different. I’m divorced. I’m a single mom learning how to cope with being a part-time, working mom instead of being a full-time stay at home, homeschooling mom. I’m learning how to co-parent – which is really difficult at times. Trying to not take things personally, and always making sure that my kids KNOW they are loved even when world war 3 is exploding in my house. It’s learning how to do everything on my own, but also remembering that I am going to be ok, and have family and friends that help me along the way.
I’m currently doing a study with some friends on YouVersion, and we are reading through the letters of Paul. Today I read Romans 5. I was struck by verses 3-6 in particular. They say, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.” So, here’s my dissection of these 3 verses. You don’t have to agree with me at all because this is what I take away from it. We are all on different journey’s in hopes to end in the same place. With Jesus smiling at us, running to greet us as our journey ends…
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials..” – My initial reaction is something like -> I’m sorry, but HOW do you rejoice when you run into problem after problem after trial after trial? It’s so hard to keep your eyes on the end goal and not look around and say “See God, look over there… why do they… and why not me…?” But it’s not that you have to rejoice each time. You are allowed to mourn, you are allowed to grieve over whatever problem or trial you are running into, but it’s in the DWELLING where we run into trouble. There is a time for everything, Eccl. 3:3-4 “A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” Everything has it’s time and place… we need to allow those times. Then we need to pick ourselves up and learn from the trials and apply what we have learned to the rest of our lives.
“.. for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” – When we train for a race or whatever exhaustion is bound to happen. The doubts creep in that we will never be able to accomplish what we have set out for ourselves. We don’t know if we have what it takes to finish. Sometimes, in this crazy race that God has me running right now, all I want to do is crawl into my bed, throw the covers over my head, ugly cry and worry about how I am going to make it through this stage of life. And as I stated above, that’s ok, but don’t dwell. Because through the trial endurance is being built, character is being established, and hope is being renewed. The character will define who I am as a person. It will show others that no matter what comes my way, I won’t handle it perfectly and will never pretend to, but I will handle it. I will give the glory to God, I will rise above the struggle. I will have hope and trust that God’s got this. And even though I will run into disappointment along the path, the ultimate prize will be so worth it.
“…For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.” – God loves all of us more than we will ever be able to fathom. The love I have for my kids, the “to die for love” is even more with God. I mean, he LITERALLY died for us. So how can I sit here and doubt that God won’t help me through this troublesome time period?? “Christ came at just the right time…” Everything He does and the time period when He does it is exactly as it should be. So I will grieve when I need to and have hope that God will do what He does but in His timing not mine. Ecclesiastes 11:5 reminds us, “Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I may never understand why the things that I have faced here have happened. I may never understand until I’m standing before God and I can finally see the BIG picture. Eventually everything will be made right. I have that hope. But until then I will continue to work on all the things…. You know things like: forgiveness, anger over the past aka bitterness, worthlessness, and so much more…