The process of writing for me can be a really frustrating one. It’s too short. It’s too long. Not enough God. Too much God (but can there be too much God?) It’s not funny enough. Will this really grab whoever is reading it? Does this even make sense? I’ve re-read this too many times, I just need to post it and hope for the best!
I always love the outcome, but as you can see, getting to that is less than desirable at times.
It starts with a nudging that I need write, to process something that God has been teaching me… so I sit, type out a few things, then I just watch the cursor Blink, Blink, Blink as I draw a Blank, Blank, Blank. I sit and wrestle with God for a while (minutes, hours, days, weeks) about what it is I’m supposed to be writing but there’s just this block in my way.
I wonder if that’s how God sees us sometimes. He gives us everything we would ever need but he is just met with blank stares because we just don’t get it or don’t WANT to get it. We question every step, every choice/decision. We second guess. We let our minds spin on the “what if”. We are unable to see which direction we need to go. So we struggle. We either sit and do nothing or we take matters into our own hands and mess it up.
I also wonder when we don’t get it or if we mess it up – does God allow us to be confused a little bit?
For me, I know that the confusion brings me to my knees. It forces me to finally cry out to Him because he is all I need. If it was clear cut, I would take control again (and more than likely mess it up). No, that’s a lie. I would mess it up, because *SURPRISE* I’ve done it before. God wants us to be like “Yep, here it is God – do what you will with this. Open the doors wide or shut them closed tight. But either way I will wait here for your lead.” He wants to test and challenge us. We just have to learn to be patient through the process of drawing blanks and let him fully lead through our surrender. And when we surrender that’s when he is able to shine the brightest.
A Caffeinated Mama 