Life, right? I never realized how hard holiday’s could be until this year. Having to share time with the kids, not having my partner by my side anymore… I was truly dreading Christmas and what was no longer. How would I be able to make it through each day? How would I be strong for the kids, and the family that I have to face? I probably didn’t do it perfectly, but I did it. I was forced to face my fears of this year head on, and I survived!
Lately I have been trying to live more in moment. To be content in whatever the circumstance is. Christmas is already over. All the presents have been unwrapped, the company all back at their own homes, and my kids at their dads for the evening. Time is flying by. My kids are getting older and I’m realizing I don’t have much time to instill in them everything I want to. I am getting older too (as my daughter so lovingly reminded me the other day) and I want to live in a way that will make the most of my time with them. I read to my kids the other night in Ephesians. It goes along with a new motto I have adopted for my family “Grace is Given, Love is Shown”. It was a highly emotional day and so I wanted to end the day with some sort of Scripture. SOMETHING that would just remind us of what is important this season. I read Ephesians 4:2-3 “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” It’s such a hard thing to accomplish. Being humble and gentle. AND not only do we have to give others grace and show others love… we HAVE to grant it to ourselves too. We must be gentle with our hearts and not put so much pressure on ourselves. God’s here. He understands.
I have amazing friends that check in and see how I am doing. I have family to surround me and tell me I am doing a good job, even though parts of me are missing. Yes, I am still hurting this season, but I can and will turn this hurt around so I can help others. I have learned how to be even more tender-hearted towards others. (I feel big, so watch out!) I am learning to give grace where it’s needed and show love when I don’t want to. I will give a smile even when I’m dying inside. By doing this, showing grace and love, I will have more peace. Peace that will spread out beyond my reach as the worry tries to overcome everything else. I can remember what this time of year is truly about. It’s not about the perfection… the show and image of what we think it should look like… or the number of gifts under the tree. Or how happy the kids are with what they did or didn’t get. It’s about a manger, in a stinky barn. It’s about the baby in a bed of straw who came to save us from all this hurt and pain we feel. It’s about this tiny babe that will fight against the darkness that tries to win and steal your joy. It’s about an amazing gift that God gave us.
So, I want to use this gift that God gave us… this gift that will fill in the hurt and pain and share it to everyone. No matter what type of hurt and pain you are feeling tonight, right at this moment, you are loved. You. Are. Loved.
Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” We may be fighting long hard battles that never seem to end and we may be weary from it all. But God. He will stand in the gap when we feel like we don’t have the strength to move on. He will provide when we don’t think he will come through. So take courage and be brave. I am truly grateful for all I have gone through this year. God has a reason for the pain. He will turn it into something beautiful, but we must be faithful to Him. We must be patient. His timeline is not our timeline, and if we stay the course we will see the other side of this hurt and pain. He’s Lord of all. He’s the solid rock where I stand. So I will have no fear because God’s power is in me…it’s in all of us. No matter what happens in the next year, trust that God will break new ground, give you the strength to face whatever, and to hold your head high.