Tags
2 Corinthians 12, Chaotic, Encouragement, Grace, Gratitude, Jesus, Journey, Paul, Perspective, Steven Furtick
Today I got to sleep in. My dog woke me up at 6:00 not my 5 am alarm. I didn’t have to rush around and get my kids and myself out the door at 6:30. I’ve actually had time to rest. Time to reflect. Time to realize what I crazy, chaotic, amazing life I lead. Let me explain…
Since school started I have been living a life that I have had a hard time adjusting to. 2 jobs (that I love), masters program (that is challenging), and single mom life. You would think that the divorce and living through that trauma would have been hard, and don’t get me wrong it was one of the most challenging roads I have ever had to walk down, but this particular path I am on right now – I continually find myself looking up and asking “Really, God?” It’s ok to ask those questions, but what’s not ok is what I was allowing to happen by asking that question. I found myself living in the negative. Living in the unfairness of what I thought my life was going to look like. Living in the bitterness, envy, and anger. Living in all the things I told myself I would never allow myself to live in. I think it all started when one of my co-workers told me I looked like a hot mess after the first full week of students.
It triggered a lot of that self doubt in me that I still carry every single day. That doubt that tells me I’m not good enough… that I won’t be able to succeed… that I won’t be able to do all the things. While I understand she has no idea how those 6 words would deeply affect me and send me into a tailspin, I’m so grateful for them. It sent me on a quest of switching my question from “Really, God?” to “OK, God…what do you want me to learn through this?”
Since I do a lot of driving now, I usually listen to a podcast about how to improve my ministry or to Steven Furtick. This week I listened to his newest sermon, The Mentor You Didn’t Ask For. He spoke about 2 Corinthians 12:7-10(TPT), (Paul is saying this….)
The extraordinary level of the revelations I’ve received is no reason for anyone to exalt me. For this is why a thorn in my flesh was given to me, the Adversary’s messenger sent to harass me, keeping me from becoming arrogant. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to relieve me of this. But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me. So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment—when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ—I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power.
So many things from that sermon that popped out to me:
- Set an example of overcoming obstacles not running away from them.
- The thorn in my side is my vulnerability
- Don’t say someone’s “no” for them. Take a risk.
- We like to cut people out when they don’t reach our expectations. We say “I can’t listen to you anymore because of x, y, z”
- God matches our thorn with our course… the thorn was sent to me to torment me. When there is a weakness that I can’t get stronger… it torments me. You think, “I should be better, why am I not better?” Paul’s thorn, it was his mentor. The things that God GAVE HIM to teach him grace.
- The thorn is the thing that shows up in our life that we never asked for… to teach us that God’s grace bigger. God will give us a grace that is proportional to our problem. My thorn is what takes me closer to the throne of God. So I need to be in a posture of surrendering my thorn to Jesus. Taking a stand in that pivotal moment where I decide my enemy will no longer reign. So, while I wait for a breakthrough – I will sit in my therefore.
I will take my hot mess express thorn if that means that God will do even bigger things through it.
I absolutely love my life. As chaotic, stressful, and confusing as it is… I wouldn’t change a single second of it. Switching how I view it is the only way that I will remain standing in grace, strength, and power. Because in the end I get to point it all back to Jesus. The one and only who strengthens me everyday TO be able to do all the things that He has called me to do. So I stand in gratitude instead of bitterness, and anxiously await the journey.