Do you ever wonder why life ebbs and flows so much? Why there are certain seasons that are harder than others? I think it’s a completely natural thing for us to face. It’s how we grow.
These past few months have been just that for me. A season of growing. A season of questioning and seeking further understanding of why God has me where He does. A season of releasing, letting go, and surrendering in complete trust.
A little while ago I was going through a passage in Mark with my small group. I let it sink in and then let it transform me. The words that I spoke have stuck with me since then and have continued to challenge me in every aspect of my life. I’m always so grateful for the revelations that come from the deepest pain and darkest moments that I walk through.
Mark 6:45-52
“Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray.” (vs 45 &46)
Pause.
Jesus just fed 5,000 people with 2 loaves and 5 fish. He sent everyone away, and insisted that his disciples go into the boat across the lake. I’m sure they had a million questions about what just happened, but Jesus insisted. How many of us now have a million questions but Jesus still insists that we take one more step forward?
Unpause.
“Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on the land. He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and the waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came towards them, walking on the water. He intended to go past them, but when they saw him walking on the water, they cried out in terror, thinking he was a ghost. They were all terrified when they saw him. But Jesus spoke to them at once, ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘Take courage! I am here!’ Then he climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, for they still didn’t understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.” (vs 47-52).
When I read this, I was struck by the fact that Jesus sent his disciples out knowing what they were going to face. It’s in those moments that Jesus is testing our resilience, our grit, our faith. Jesus knows exactly what we need when we need it. He stood on the land, watching, waiting. When the waves and wind were getting to be too much He went out to walk by them. I wonder if he just wanted to give them a glimpse of Him because it said he had intended to just walk by. He just wanted to show them, that even though they were struggling – He was still there. But it wasn’t until they cried out in fear that he spoke, got into the boat, and calmed the wind.
He calmed the wind, but what about the waves. Were they still moving, swirling around them? Did he just calm the wind, or did he calm the whole storm? If the waves were still moving – did Jesus’ presence with the disciples calm them so much that they were no longer afraid of the storm raging around them? They knew that because Jesus was in their boat they could face anything. There would still be trouble, there may still be chaos raging around, but God. But Jesus…the calm in the storm….
We walk through multiple storms in our lives. We were made to walk a journey that sometimes were never envisioned. We think, out of fear, that the best way to weather the storm to just stay tied to the dock because it’s “stable”. If I let go, and venture out I don’t know what I will encounter. But what if that is where God wants to meet us. In the middle of the lake amidst all the wind and waves? We have an enemy that wants to keep us tied to the dock. To believe the lie that this is stable and the safest place to be. But God is wanting to send us through the choppy waters because that is where we fight. He gently tell us to cross the water to the other because he KNOWS we are strong enough to fully embrace where we are at. He wants to strip us bare so that when we feel out of control, we can meet him out in the water, in the middle of the storm.
It’s words like these that give me the strength every single day that my God is bigger than anything I will face. I just need to let go of the dock.
A Caffeinated Mama 