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Battle, Contentment, Daily life, Dream, Encouragement, Envy, faith, Family, Homefront, homeschool, Imperfect, Journey, Joy, Kids, Need vs want, Parenting, Real, Real Life, Stuggle, Truth
A rant… a reminder… who knows but I just needed to write…
So, one thing that I am really struggling with lately is REMEMBERING STUFF! Doesn’t really matter what it is… I can’t remember it! **GASP** That is so hard to admit! I feel like this summer my mind has literally reached it’s capacity of holding information and now things are starting to fall out. (Kind of like an over-stuffed bowl of popcorn. You try to keep pouring more popcorn in the bowl in hopes that the bowl will get bigger. But instead it just tumbles over the side.) Yeah… that’s exactly where I am at.
I don’t know how many meeting I have forgotten about or just not showed up to. I have addressed snail mail letters incorrectly and a week later I get them back saying “no known address”. Or forgetting to mail out an order to my mom that has been sitting on my desk for the past 3 weeks! Or letting my laundry pile up so high that it’s almost touching the shoot. I’m sure there is more, but whatever they are… they have fallen into the abyss of forgotten things.
I have tried so many ways to try and stay organized and on top of it and none of it seems to be working. Part of me just wants to trash everything and start completely over. Have a fresh slate so to speak. Something that will be motivating and help me to WANT to be organized all the time. I am a planner, and love to be organized but with 3 kids… homeschooling starting up again soon… having my kids friends over on a daily basis… It’s almost impossible to stay organized… which then makes me feel overwhelmed and my friend “Envy” starts creeping in. Envy of other people that look like they have it all together, and have everything that I have dreamed about how my life should look.
But I just have to know that right now my life is going to be chaotic. I’m in that stage. So, there will be things that will be forgotten. There will be things that fall to the way side. I literally can’t make everyone happy (which if you have spent any time with me… know that is a big thing for me – I want to make everyone happy) and I’m sorry if I disappoint you because I just can’t do it all. My house will inevitably always be a mess when you come over and I really need to stop apologizing for that. My kitchen floors will be sticky even though I just mopped the floor 5 minutes ago. My bathroom sink will ALWAYS have dried crusty toothpaste all over because we don’t clean it every time someone brushes their teeth. There will be dirty clothes sitting outside the closet where the clothes shoot is because it’s just too hard to open the door sometimes and throw it down. There will be dirty dishes in the sink because we are too lazy to unload the dishwasher. I will never have enough food in the house, because my kids are growing and are eating every second of the day!
I have come to realize that I just won’t ever have that pristine Pinterest house that makes me believe that every 30-something mom has. Or that lie that sneaks in saying every 30-something family has this brand-new-2-story-4-bedroom-granite-countertop-kitchen-house where everything has it’s place, and is in it’s place at all times. This again is hard for me because it’s a want, a dream for me… but is it a NEED? No, I have everything that I NEED in my 1950’s style rambler that has 3 bedrooms, crappy laminate counter tops with a backsplash where the plastic tiles fall off every few months, and toys that litter the floor in every room. There is dog hair all over the place, and my kitchen floor is wet because my dog dribbles all over when she drinks her water! Yes there is a place for all of the stuff, but it seems like it’s never in it’s place!
I’m sure that my kids watch way too much TV for the standards of whoever it is that makes the standards! But I am also sure that my kids are completely normal for their age. They don’t have behavior issues they are just kids that push the boundaries daily, make my hair fall out, and make me feel like a broken record for repeating the same thing day after day, hour after hour….
“Please stop jumping on the couches!”
“No, you may not get more food, we just ate lunch 5 minutes ago.”
“Son, please take your hands out of your pants.”
“How many times have I asked you to NOT draw the chief symbol on your forehead from How to Train Your Dragons 2?”
….just to name a few! But they are also my pride and joy. They are my life and the reason that I wake up in the morning. They are the reason I have a smile on my face and laugh when they do something completely ridiculous… like have marker all over their face and the chief! Or make me feel like my cup runs over because they leave love notes on the mirror in the bathroom or tell me that I am beautiful. My kids friends are my kids too when they are here at my house. They are loved, they are fed, they are prayed over, and they know they will always have a place here (in my heart, and my house). I need to remember that my house is always a mess because ALL of my kids are my mission right now. Not having the pristine house. They are what is most important. And I have to remember that!