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I think this past week I have sat down to write a post about 6 or 7 times!  I know what I want to say, but it’s just stuck.  I am mentally constipated with things that I was to say, things that I need to get out to just process and feel better!  Writing is therapy and when I can’t get out what I need to I start getting bogged down and the demons that have plagued me my whole life start coming back with a vengeance…And then over-thinking happens…

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I have been an over-thinker my whole life.  I hear something or see something and then my mind twists it into something that isn’t true and then it ruins me.  So, this post is for me.  It’s my mental dump.  It’s going to be everything that has bogged me down the past few weeks so I can get it out and move on.

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So, here goes nothing….This may be long so if you make it to the end… bless you and thank you for sticking with me!

1. How are we as women supposed to live up to what is expected of us day and night? Maybe it is just me having incredibly high standards to what my life is supposed to look like and how it’s supposed to be done.  I feel like I am supposed to be everything to my kids.  I am supposed to be everything or my husband.  I am supposed to meet everyone’s needs the minute they need it.  I am a house cleaner, a nurse, a therapist, a bouncer, a teacher, a mother, a wife, a chauffeur, a….the list goes on and on…  I write about feeling inadequate a lot!  Satan really knows where I am weakest and know where to attack and when.  I KNOW that I am good enough.  I KNOW that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.  I KNOW I am exactly who my husband needs me to be, but I just can’t help but hear the lies being whispered in my ear that I will never make the cut.

2. Trust.  Such a small word.  A small word with a HUGE meaning.  Trust is a gift that you give away to only a precious few.  Trust is meaningful and it’s special and it’s so incredibly important.  But once that trust has been broken…. the consequences that follow are life changing.  Once trust has been shattered… You try to put the pieces back together but they don’t fit quite right and they never will.  There may be pieces missing and so now there are holes.  Or you found all the pieces and it’s just being help together so delicately that the lightest of breezes may knock it over.  So, you put up a wall to guard your trust.  If you guard it… it can’t break again, right?  But when the breeze blows it’s start to wobble, and then all hell breaks loose.

3. Ever get the feeling like it’s time for a brand new start?  Time to see where life will take you?  Time to see what God can do with your leap of faith?

I’ve been feeling like that for a while now.  Like God is going to do something huge… and soon.  My hubby was out of town last week (and boy was that tough… but that’s for another day)… and when he’s gone it gives me time to think.  Sometimes it’s good to think and sometimes it’s not.  But these past few weeks as thoughts have swarmed through my mind I can’t help but feel like God is wanting to shake things up a bit!  Like he is preparing my hubby and I for something big.  I texted my hubby and told him that I think God is going to ask us to do something major soon with no questions asked.  We are going to have to jump in with both feet and TRUST (there’s that word again… TRUST).  God tends to speak to me quietly and then progressively gets louder until he’s practically shouting in my ear!  I think that he is on the verge of shouting.

I don’t know what it is that God wants us to do… But I think that it may involve a move and a heck of a lot of trust.

4.  I started a new business with one of my dear friends.  As if I didn’t have enough on my plate already… I thought that I would add more to it!  You should check out my site http://www.perfectlyposh.com/heathersposhmeup

5. There’s so much more, but I can’t sit here all day.