~ I am first and foremost a daughter of the Most high King, a single mom who survives on coffee and Jesus, and someone who likes to think they have it all together but really has no clue. Welcome to my ramblings…
I was driving yesterday to Taylors Falls and the road construction 35W is ever changing. A thought hit me, that life (no matter the journey) is a lot like this stupid road construction. Ever changing and unpredictable, but necessary to be a better functioning road. One day the road goes straight, then the next it sways to the right and then all of the sudden the cones are up – this way is now blocked off and you have to take a long, out of the way detour. It’s frustrating… it throws you off and all you want to do is sit and stare into oblivion because this was not the plan. We might look up to the sky and say “Come on, God! Where are you in this?? Why are you making me go on this road when THAT road over there is where I want to be??” Do you think He laughs at us? Shakes his head and says, “Oh Child, if you could only see what I have for you down THIS road… TRUST ME.”
My word for 2020 is TRUST. I didn’t know fully what that word would mean for this year, but it was definitely NOT what has played out. How do we trust when the way we’ve always done life explodes in our face? We have lived through a major pandemic (and still are), riots and unrest in our own backyard, a very unstable election that has polarized the nation. How are we supposed to keep trusting that good will come? And then not to mention all the normal day to day stuff everyone is dealing with: job losses, loss of lives, normal run of the mills colds that are now causing panic, uncertainty with school, relationship struggles (always), learning how to get along with others who don’t share your same views, biases, life choices. The weight of life this year is epic. It’s scary, it’s uncertain…
But it’s also eye opening, amazing, and full of beauty. We just have to look for it. We have to allow God to show us his perspective and not just stay on the side of the road when we want to go one way but God, life takes us another.
We need to ask ourselves right now what lessons do we need to learn from this year. How can I be more empathetic towards others? How can I help more? What do I need to let go of to be a better person, to love well instead of feeling the need to prove my rightness? How do I do this well for my kids? What habits do I need to change? What ugly in my heart needs to be taken care of so I CAN do this well… so I can do the hard things? Where do I need to slow down, listen, and watch for His direction?
I have no answers, but I do know that as long as I continue to give all the things to God he will show me the way.
Where do I even begin? I haven’t written in a while and that’s probably because I feel like the year 2015 was my rock bottom. I had so much going on in my life, personally and spiritually, that it was spinning wildly out of control. There was no end in sight to the wild spin that my life had taken on. Thankfully, 2016 has brought about change. Refreshing change. Change that has needed to happen for a really long time- I was just too afraid to take that step of faith and move toward that change. So, let me bring you all up to speed…
2015 – Have you ever hit rock bottom? It’s a super scary place to be. Especially when you are a believer or a non-believer. Especially when you are married or when you are single. Especially when you have kids or no kids. Especially when you have NOTHING LEFT. Be ready for open and honest. My marriage almost ended last year. Bam! There’s my rock bottom…
So many things led up to my hubby and I almost walking out on one another. So. Many. Things. And in this day and age when the going gets tough people walk out. They leave the hard stuff behind – only to walk into more hard stuff. It’s unbelievable how fast things spun out of control, and literally before my very eyes. People said, and still say, that I am a good and loving wife. They saw that I was, and still am, a caring mom. That I had a house to live in (even though it was falling apart and NOT at all where God wanted us to be anymore), and that I tried to keep it somewhat clean. They saw what I want them to see. They never saw the ugly. The mom that would lose it because of spilled milk. The wife that would say things because she was hurt or annoyed. No one saw the imperfect – the ugly. Cause, let’s be honest, we live in a world that is full of “perfect”… social media makes sure that everyone has this unattainable expectation that they have to meet and if they don’t meet it then you are worthless. I found myself as worthless. I found myself as someone that I didn’t want to be around anymore. So, if I didn’t even want to be around me… why would anyone else?
2016 – With the new year I felt like we had the ability to just scratch 2015 from existence and move on with life.
I had a renewed sense of fight in me. I no longer wanted to give up on my marriage, on my family. And I knew that my hubby felt the same way. I am beyond grateful for my best friends that I trust with my life… who are praying on their knees for my marriage now and for when it was in it’s darkest hours. It is a long battle, and it will be fought with blood, sweat, lots of tears, and more prayers than I can count. Looking back I see that we (my hubby and I) let Satan in to do whatever he wanted. I read something from the book Anything, by Jennie Allen. It’s from a pastor that spoke to her and her husband. It really resonated with me, and I would like to share it with you…
“If I was the devil, I’d tell you what I’d do. I would try to deceive you and get you into error. I would get you off base. And if you still stayed true (to God and your beliefs)*, I would try to disqualify you. I would get you immoral, I would get you where no one would believe what came out of your mouth. I would make you a tabloid, where nobody would believe you. I would remove your confidence until you were afraid to speak because your life was such a shamble. I would get you into sin. I would prowl like a roaring lion to devour you morally.
And if I couldn’t do that, I would try to make you successful. And I would distract you if I couldn’t disqualify you. I would get you busy. I would get you so distracted to the gospel that no longer would your prayers be about holiness and souls. They would only be about the bottom line in your business. I would get you materialistic, and no longer concerned about the spiritual nature of you life. If I couldn’t do that, I would divide you. If I couldn’t divide you, I’ve almost lost you. You know what I’d do then? I’d discourage you. And then if I couldn’t discourage you, I’d try death. I would try my best to kill you. That’s what I would do to take you out.” *italics are my adding* (So, was this written just for me? This is everything I have felt!)
Take a listen to a song that explains all of this…. Music speaks to me.
The father of lies has done a number on me. But did you hear the song?! Even though the devil sings his song over me…he may even have his demons doing his dirty work on my heart…whispering their lies into my ear over and over again till I can’t hear anything else. They whisper in my ear until I’m no longer talking to my God but that I am talking to the devil himself. Having a fight with him over how terrible of a person I am. He was doing a heck of a job at that last year and up until yesterday (If I’m being brutally honest)- when my totally awesome cousin talked, prayed, and listened to me… But the father of lies has forgotten the refrain. The refrain that JESUS SAVES!! I no longer have to live the lies that the devil in whispering into my ear. I have the redemption of Jesus to save me, my marriage, and my family. This demon that has attacked me since I was young telling me that I am worthless… no longer has it’s hold on me. He has been kicked – well I’m in the process of kicking him – to the curb because Jesus has saved me. I HAVE to start listening to Jesus, reading his WORD and pouring it over every aspect of my life. It’s almost like I have Jesus on one shoulder and the devil on the other, and I was listening to the devil more. He was louder. I couldn’t hear the truth above the lies. I want to take my finger and flick the devil off my shoulder and tell him he no longer has power, in Jesus name.
I am so far from where I am supposed to be in my “walk”. But Jesus has been right where He wants me. He wants me to struggle – because in the times of struggle that’s when you grow the most. You reach out to those you trust and ask them to challenge you. I want to encourage you that if you are finding yourself far from God that there’s only one thing you have to do. You just have to reach your hand up and say I’m sorry Father, here I am. You just have to fall on your knees and Jesus will pick you up and carry you. He doesn’t want to see me or you as a crumpled mess on the floor trying to figure out this thing called life. He wants us to reach out to him so he can shows us all that life is supposed to be. No more allowing the father of lies to direct my steps and thoughts…
“It’s only God who moves my heart. He chases me down and lures me back to him; while I am running to everyone else, he runs after me. God brings me back to the place where it fares well with me, reminding me he is my husband. There is no spinning, no fear, only perfect acceptance and peace.” Anything, by Jennie Allen p. 38
I think this past week I have sat down to write a post about 6 or 7 times! I know what I want to say, but it’s just stuck. I am mentally constipated with things that I was to say, things that I need to get out to just process and feel better! Writing is therapy and when I can’t get out what I need to I start getting bogged down and the demons that have plagued me my whole life start coming back with a vengeance…And then over-thinking happens…
I have been an over-thinker my whole life. I hear something or see something and then my mind twists it into something that isn’t true and then it ruins me. So, this post is for me. It’s my mental dump. It’s going to be everything that has bogged me down the past few weeks so I can get it out and move on.
So, here goes nothing….This may be long so if you make it to the end… bless you and thank you for sticking with me!
1. How are we as women supposed to live up to what is expected of us day and night? Maybe it is just me having incredibly high standards to what my life is supposed to look like and how it’s supposed to be done. I feel like I am supposed to be everything to my kids. I am supposed to be everything or my husband. I am supposed to meet everyone’s needs the minute they need it. I am a house cleaner, a nurse, a therapist, a bouncer, a teacher, a mother, a wife, a chauffeur, a….the list goes on and on… I write about feeling inadequate a lot! Satan really knows where I am weakest and know where to attack and when. I KNOW that I am good enough. I KNOW that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I KNOW I am exactly who my husband needs me to be, but I just can’t help but hear the lies being whispered in my ear that I will never make the cut.
2. Trust. Such a small word. A small word with a HUGE meaning. Trust is a gift that you give away to only a precious few. Trust is meaningful and it’s special and it’s so incredibly important. But once that trust has been broken…. the consequences that follow are life changing. Once trust has been shattered… You try to put the pieces back together but they don’t fit quite right and they never will. There may be pieces missing and so now there are holes. Or you found all the pieces and it’s just being help together so delicately that the lightest of breezes may knock it over. So, you put up a wall to guard your trust. If you guard it… it can’t break again, right? But when the breeze blows it’s start to wobble, and then all hell breaks loose.
3. Ever get the feeling like it’s time for a brand new start? Time to see where life will take you? Time to see what God can do with your leap of faith?
I’ve been feeling like that for a while now. Like God is going to do something huge… and soon. My hubby was out of town last week (and boy was that tough… but that’s for another day)… and when he’s gone it gives me time to think. Sometimes it’s good to think and sometimes it’s not. But these past few weeks as thoughts have swarmed through my mind I can’t help but feel like God is wanting to shake things up a bit! Like he is preparing my hubby and I for something big. I texted my hubby and told him that I think God is going to ask us to do something major soon with no questions asked. We are going to have to jump in with both feet and TRUST (there’s that word again… TRUST). God tends to speak to me quietly and then progressively gets louder until he’s practically shouting in my ear! I think that he is on the verge of shouting.
I don’t know what it is that God wants us to do… But I think that it may involve a move and a heck of a lot of trust.
4. I started a new business with one of my dear friends. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate already… I thought that I would add more to it! You should check out my site http://www.perfectlyposh.com/heathersposhmeup
5. There’s so much more, but I can’t sit here all day.
Last year a couple of my dear friends and I attempted to start a blog together. But seeing as we are all mom’s of 3 high energy kids, homeschoolers, and everything else in between… we just were never actually able to finish the journey that we started. It was such a bummer for all of us, but we know that the Lord has a plan and maybe when life calms down a bit we will actually be able to work on it again. BUT I say this because I wrote a bunch of blog posts on marriage.
My goal is to figure out how to copy all those blogs and post them onto here. So if one day you notice that I ended up posting like 20 posts all at once… that would be the reason!
I hope you all enjoy them once I get them over here!
After I posted about my anxiety last week, I started listening to some music which is what I do all the time. If you come to my house, more than likely some music is playing softly or very loudly in the background… depending on the mood that I am in!
I was listening to this song by Addison Road and it was describing everything that I was feeling… I tried doing life by myself for far too long. And it ended up tearing me down so far that I couldn’t even see the light anymore. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me the whole time. I now know that the only way that I will be able to make it though life is by breathing Jesus in daily. If I get too busy with what I feel is important and don’t breathe in Jesus, then that day goes down the drain. If I start my day breathing Him in and letting Him know I can’t do this without Him, I am able to do anything.
I hope you enjoy this song that speaks so much to who I am.
“Need You Now”
I’ve been trying to win
Trying to fend for myself way too long
Living in doubt, living without, I’ve been so alone
I know that I need you, I know that I need you now
I was wasting my time trying to find
Something real for my soul
And now that I’m here, you’re making it clear
I’m not my own
And I know that I need you, I know that I need you now
Now, this is all that I am
Here, with my outstretched hands
Cause I really need You
I know that I need You now
I’m running in place to try and erase all that I’ve done
But you find a way to replace my pain with love
And I know that I need you, I know that I need you now
Now, this is all that I am
Here, with my outstretched hands
Cause I really need You
I know that I need You now
When I’m afraid, You comfort me
When I’m ashamed, You lift me up
Yeah You lift me up
Now, this is all that I am
Here, with my outstretched hands
Cause I really need You
I know that I need You now
Now, this is all that I want
Here, is where I belong
Now, I’m giving You everything now
When I’m afraid, You comfort me
When I’m ashamed, You show me how
I need You now
After finally writing my first blog post of the year yesterday I remembered the whole reason why I started this. It wasn’t to have a theme running through each day or have some sort of plan for what I wanted each post to look like. I started this for me. I started this so I could just sit and write and let it all out. I started this so I could process the ins and outs of my daily life. Who knows there are probably a ton of people dealing with the same stuff I am. Maybe this will be a way of helping others out there who feel all alone and stuck with their demons.
For the longest time I seriously thought that I was going crazy. I couldn’t go through a day without feeling like a had let the whole world down… well at least my immediate world of people I encounter day in and day out. I couldn’t understand why I was struggling so much with things that never bothered me before…
My hubby would come home after a long day at work and have to deal with whatever I was going through. I don’t know how many doctor appointments I made to figure out what was going on with me. I seriously thought that I was going crazy. I was ready to be checked into the looney bin! Haha! 2014 was the year that I finally was honest with myself. I owned up to one of my demons… to the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety. I made my last doctor appointment in November, and as I was talking to the doctor it hit me that my biggest demon is anxiety…Anxiety that leads to depression. My anxiety is through the roof and my test scores can prove it. So the doctor agreed that the best course of action would be to go on meds. And boy did they work quick! (I know that the answer for some isn’t meds, but for me… it is the only answer.) The meds have helped to quiet the lies that Satan would whisper in my ear that I am not a good enough wife and mom, strong enough, patient enough, pretty enough…. etc. The list goes on and on and on. I have dealt with this particular demon my whole life and it is so nice to finally feel free of it.
I want to back up a little bit and tell you how I finally came to the conclusion that I should probably go on meds. I went to the Women of Faith conference in October with my best friend and one of the speakers, Sheila Walsh, had spoken about her bout with depression and how she actually was admitted to the hospital for clinical depression. She spoke about her life, her father, and how she never misses a dose of her meds because it’s what she needs to go through life. I saw this amazingly strong, beautiful Christian woman speaking and it was like she was speaking to my soul. It was at that point that I knew that I needed more than just sheer willpower and prayer to battle this disease… this demon. It is one decision that I will never regret. I feel NORMAL again. I feel happy again. I have JOY in my life again. I don’t worry over every little thing anymore. My husband doesn’t feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me. My kids don’t have to fear that I am going to go off the deep end because I am feeling another anxiety attack starting because I am totally and completely drained from just trying to survive! I’m not completely exhausted from trying to hide it and pretend that everything is OK. My house is a calmer, and MUCH happier place. If I hadn’t gone to the conference and felt the Lord nudging me (through Sheila) in this direction I would probably still be sitting here afraid to move, fearful of failing, completely paralyzed by the thoughts that I am letting everyone down because I just can’t be everything to everyone, living every moment over and over again full of guilt over how I should have handled it differently. And mind you it doesn’t matter if that thing happened 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago…My mind would just swirl around it and replay it like it just happened. It’s a very lonely existence.
We have an enemy that would like nothing more than to put us back in the chains that hold us back. To have us live completely and totally in our demons. But we have hope that God will love us regardless of our mess… regardless of the fact that our life movie doesn’t get wrapped in this nice little box. He is the one with the pen! He is the one that has the final say in the direction of my life! I don’t have to be defined anymore by my anxiety demon. I am defined by my Lord in heaven, by the Father that will restore all the broken pieces of my life. I may need a little bit of extra help along way (ahem… medication) but it will be used for His glory! It will NOT destroy me! When I am able to admit that I am no longer enough, God is able to use His MORE THAN ENOUGH to beat the enemy for me. I have overcome this battle already and I just need to sit back and let God have the control again.
Matthew 11:28-30 MSG “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
It’s been such a long time since I have written anything. I went through a bad slump, I think. I would literally sit and try to think of something to say and nothing would come! It’s very frustrating to have a writers block that lasts for months on end! But it’s a new year and I have decided that I should move past it and get back into the swing of things with writing.
With that being said, why is it so hard to stick with things? It’s like the new year comes around and you have all these goals and ideas on how to make your year better than the last! Not that I had a bad year last year, but as time moves on you forget what you said at the beginning of the year. Old habits crop back in and your new year just ends up blending in with the last. I think every year I have the same goals…
Read my Bible more – Actually read the WHOLE Bible
Eat healthier
Drink A LOT more water
Actually stick with my daily exercise plan
Have more one on one time with my hubby
Yell less at the kids – be a better mom
Write more because it is my sanity saver
Finish school every day with the kids
Keep the house clean
And each year I stick with it for a time, and then life just moves in and one by one each goal goes out the window. This year, however, I wasn’t even able to start off on the right foot at all. My family and I ended up getting the flu super bad and it slowly made it’s way through each person. So, as sad as it is to say, I haven’t even really been able to start up on my goals for the year.
I suppose that this will be my belated New Years post! I am taking a step in the right direction 🙂
This week has been really rough for me. It’s the first of 3 weeks that my hubby will be gone. I am happy that he will be coming home over the weekends before he heads out again, but it’s still tough. I tend to freak out over little things, and then the little things BLOW UP into huge things. It’s so annoying! I just wish there was a way that I could just not over dramatize things. So after a particularly rough conversation with the hubs on Monday… I opened up my Bible Study on Tuesday from Good Morning Girls and low and behold it was all about marriage. And how to make it the best marriage it can be. That always seems to happen to me. I am having a particularly rough patch and the Lord just puts something in my path that is what I needed to hear at that exact moment. A song, a sermon, kind words from a friend, a Bible Study….It’s crazy! But anyway…
Yesterday the study started out with the creation story, and how the Lord has said that everything he created was good.. but one thing was not good. Having man be alone… that was not good in God’s eyes. So he created Eve. He created her not to be taken advantage of, or for her to dominate her husband, but as a helper for him. As a side kick. I love this! I tend to take charge a lot just because I want things done my way and in my time. But that’s not how God wants things. He wants us to sit back and take things in and have things work in His timing. I desperately need to step back and take in what my hubby says and what he wants at times. Now I am not saying that I am going to be a doormat and have him be the sole decision maker, but I want us to walk side by side through this life making those decisions together. I am going to let him lead more, but I will also help guide the way. We will do it together because that’s how it’s supposed to be in a marriage!
This morning really spoke to me too. I was just sitting there feeling totally defeated. I felt like I was going crazy…tears flowing again. My mind wouldn’t shut off and I was snapping at the kids. I hate when I take it out on them. But I did. Which reminds me I need to talk to them and ask for forgiveness because they really didn’t deserve it. I was just defeated… completely and totally depleted. I opened up my Bible App to go to the reading plan for the GMG’s study. And one thing they mentioned and that really popped out to me was this: “All satan did was tell Eve lies and she became a believer of those lies.” All he has to do is whisper in our ear… tell us lie after lie until we eventually believe it. And then once we believe those lies we will go to those closest to us and make them believe the lies. The master of manipulation at his best. In marriage, manipulation should be thrown out the window. We need to shower each other in love and build each other up… especially when we are at our weakest. We need to be encouraging to our spouse not the opposite.
When doing the GMG studies they use a SOAP outline. (Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer). I love it. It really helps me to dive into the scripture and get the most out of it. I wanted to share my prayer that I wrote out from today because I feel like satan is doing a number on a lot of people not just me, and everyone just believes it because he thrives in the chaos and the lies and it feels “normal”. So here’s my prayer:
Lord, when my hubby is gone, satan is right there. He is whispering in my ear. SHOUTING in my ear and it is so, so hard to hear anything else. Help me, Lord, to silence satan’s voice and shake his hold on me so I can focus on what needs to be fixed… what is truth! With satan yelling at me he is causing unneeded chaos and I am so very tired of the chaos that he brings. Help me to tune him out so that the lies no longer hide the truth. The truth that I love my hubby more than my desire to believe the lies. -Amen-
I just want to encourage all of us… if you feel like you are at the end of your rope and you are drowning from all the shouting that satan is doing… God is there with a life line. He is holding out his hand, just waiting for you to turn away from the chaos. God is so much bigger than anything we will ever face here on earth. I know that sometimes that is hard to believe because we can only see what is right in front of us. But we have to trust that God’s got this. I struggle with turning away from the chaos daily, but it is just something that I have to do. Chaos is literally all around me, but I just have to stay on that path set out for me. I have to do my best to tune out all the noise, and grab hold of Jesus and follow Him.
I mentioned before that I am doing the Intentionally Focused study from Good Morning Girls. It has been really good, and pretty much right on for what I have been needing to hear. I just finished up week 3 which was about the mind.
The memory verse was Philippians 4:8 “…always think about what is true. Think about what is noble, right, and pure. Think about what is lovely and worthy of respect. If anything is excellent or worthy of praise, think about those things.” (NIrV)
This really hit me today when I read it. I love the question in the study that went along with this verse. It said, “Philippians 4:8 is a great filter system for our mind. (We use our mind to filter what our mouth says, but do we actually have a filter for our thoughts? Not usually…) Each time a thought pops into our head, we can run it through the characteristics mentioned in this verse. If it doesn’t filter through one of these areas – it needs to leave our mind. In which area of your thinking do your thoughts often get stuck? Stop and pray, asking God for help to focus your mind on the things He calls us to.” (I added the italics).
My mind constantly thinks about worries, about the what if’s or why’s. My mind rarely thinks about what is true, what is praiseworthy, what is lovely. I’d about 75% of the time I am thinking about all the opposite things. Some days I just wish that I could flip a switch and all of the sudden just see everything clearer because it is absolutely exhausting. I need to think of the promises that God has given to me. My thoughts tend to get stuck on the lies. So, I need to start at the beginning. “Always think about what is true…” I need to breathe that verse into my life. When I feel like there is something I am thinking about that may not pass, I need to throw it out. But how do I do that? I pray, I give it to God, and I pray some more. I talk to my hubby, a trusted friend letting them know that I am struggling with untruths.
I am challenging myself to focus on what is true. If that means that I write Phil 4:8 and plaster it all over my house, then that is what i will do until it is written on my heart! I need to start each day with the promise that the Lord won’t leave me… cracking open my Bible (or Bible App – whichever is handy) and just soaking in what He has to tell me. Starting the day off in truth is better than the latter…Feeling defeated before the day even begins. I should really start my days like this…
And then once this prayer has been said… this is what I want…
I want to be feared by the things that are not from God. I want them to know that I will no longer believe the lies that I am not good enough, or that I am failing at being a wife and mother, or that I should always question certain things that I know deep down are not true. I need to recognize when I am not at peace that is when the devil is whispering in my ear trying to wreck my faith, my trust, my love. I need my mind to be set on God and filled with peace. It’s all about control. Who do I want at the drivers seat? Do I want to be at the drivers seat and go in my own direction? Do I want the devil at the drivers seat, showing me all the things that take me farther away from God? Or do I want God to be in the drivers seat? I will pick God. He is the only one who can truly give me the joy and peace that my mind craves.
So, where is it that your mind gets stuck? Is it believing the lies that are whispered everywhere? It is hard to think about the blessings of life? It is hard to think about things that are worthy of respect? Whatever it is that causes you to be stuck, I challenge you to put a game plan together and put it into action. It’s time to overcome what leaves us feeling stuck and hopeless and cling to who gives us hope and peace.
I think in today’s day and age it is so easy for us to rush, rush, rush without a second thought about it. We feel like we have these unattainable lists that need to get checked off and the faster that we can get through it the faster we’ll be done. But in reality that is a lie, because as soon as we check one thing off five more things are added to the bottom of the list! God does not want us to be rushing through this life. When we rush, we miss out on so much. We miss out on the promises that He has for us, we miss out on our family, our kids, our LIFE! It’s time to stop and breathe in His promises.
This morning I was “mommy monster” as I was trying to get things ready for breakfast, and didn’t want anyone getting in my way. My daughter wanted me to make French Toast Muffins, my son didn’t want those (even though he loves them)… and I was getting really frustrated. I have a headache from kids being awake last night and just not sleeping well in general. So instead of breathing Him in to calm me down I just went straight to “mommy monster”. I quickly realized this is NOT how I wanted my day to go so after the muffins were in the oven, I took my cup of coffee and went straight to the rocking chair in the living room to start my day over. I started over with God. I breathed Him in. My attitude changed, and was calm and refocused.
Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all your ways remember him. Then he will make your paths smooth and straight.”
We are not meant to face this life alone. We are not meant to live according to our check lists. We are supposed to go through life trusting that God has our back. Trusting that He is in the drivers seat. Granted, not everything is smooth and straight every moment of every day…it’s ok when there are days that our check list collect dust. Knowing that I have God in my corner is enough to let me ride out the bumps, and tackle that list another time. Once we have tasted the goodness of God, how can we leave that? His promises and grace are more that I can fathom, and I would be terrified to live a life without holding Him near.
Yes, storms will rise. The path won’t always be peachy keen, but God has us through it all. We just need to lean into him and find our rest. The Lord rejoices when we rejoice and weeps when we weep. But through it all, He’s got you.