Life in general is hard.
Life post-divorce is a different level of hard.
Life in 2020 is yet another level.
I was driving yesterday to Taylors Falls and the road construction 35W is ever changing. A thought hit me, that life (no matter the journey) is a lot like this stupid road construction. Ever changing and unpredictable, but necessary to be a better functioning road. One day the road goes straight, then the next it sways to the right and then all of the sudden the cones are up – this way is now blocked off and you have to take a long, out of the way detour. It’s frustrating… it throws you off and all you want to do is sit and stare into oblivion because this was not the plan. We might look up to the sky and say “Come on, God! Where are you in this?? Why are you making me go on this road when THAT road over there is where I want to be??” Do you think He laughs at us? Shakes his head and says, “Oh Child, if you could only see what I have for you down THIS road… TRUST ME.”
My word for 2020 is TRUST. I didn’t know fully what that word would mean for this year, but it was definitely NOT what has played out. How do we trust when the way we’ve always done life explodes in our face? We have lived through a major pandemic (and still are), riots and unrest in our own backyard, a very unstable election that has polarized the nation. How are we supposed to keep trusting that good will come? And then not to mention all the normal day to day stuff everyone is dealing with: job losses, loss of lives, normal run of the mills colds that are now causing panic, uncertainty with school, relationship struggles (always), learning how to get along with others who don’t share your same views, biases, life choices. The weight of life this year is epic. It’s scary, it’s uncertain…
But it’s also eye opening, amazing, and full of beauty. We just have to look for it. We have to allow God to show us his perspective and not just stay on the side of the road when we want to go one way but God, life takes us another.
We need to ask ourselves right now what lessons do we need to learn from this year. How can I be more empathetic towards others? How can I help more? What do I need to let go of to be a better person, to love well instead of feeling the need to prove my rightness? How do I do this well for my kids? What habits do I need to change? What ugly in my heart needs to be taken care of so I CAN do this well… so I can do the hard things? Where do I need to slow down, listen, and watch for His direction?
I have no answers, but I do know that as long as I continue to give all the things to God he will show me the way.